Exceptions to Prove the Rule – Confessions of a Desperate Writer

I have a confession to make. I haven’t written in over a week. It may not sound like a big deal to you, but for me it has been quite troubling. And of course I have my reasons, that is to say my excuses. I was traveling for a while so there was that, but the real confession is that I resisted writing my novel. Yup. It’s true. I hit a wall and bounced back. Now as I say I was also traveling so the resistance kind of came at an opportune time, but that is only a silver lining.

Listen I’m not going to lie – writing is very challenging. It gets under your skin and into your head. And I keep finding that writing somehow IS me. I merge with the text and the text merges with me. So when I begin to approach something awesome or frightening or terrible in the text, I also begin to face that inside myself. And likewise if something unusual or fantastic or challenging is going on in my personal life, then my writing can be effected, and sometimes in interesting and cathartic ways.

Currently in my novel I feel as though the characters are approaching an important, pivotal, perhaps even climatic moment together. So it’s interesting to note how difficult it became for me to approach writing this scene all of a sudden. Usually I advise myself and others to just push on through and write anyway. To keep going. Don’t stop for any reason. And to be honest I think that advice is still the best advice for writing, but now I may have to add a caveat – 95% of the time. It was just this very morning that I sort of woke up in the early morning and heard a voice speak to me boldly and clearly. It said, “He must go all in now.” Or something to that effect. And I immediately knew that this wisdom was in reference to my novel and the main character of my novel and the scene that is coming up next which I haven’t yet written. So you see inspiration and guidance came to me. Power surged. And now here I am back again writing! But here’s the catch – you can’t fake this type of thing. It has to be the final step, the end of the line, nowhere else to go. You must be desperate, and have exhausted all other measures to push on through and keep writing. I still maintain that 95% of the time you are responsible to keep writing, to dig deep and find that inspiration yourself, and even then that other 5% of the time you will eventually have to pick up the pen and write – the path just may be a little more circuitous. Either way though it is decreed that you must carry on and write. So I still recommend for myself and for others that this be our default position as writers – to keep on writing. So how do we know when that 5% chance is actually really here? This is the key question of course, and the honest answer is you don’t know, and you’ll never know until AFTER the fact. You must always assume you are the responsible one. The burden rests upon your shoulders to get the work done. That 5% exception will find you. You don’t find it.

The real challenge in life is completion. Completion is perhaps the most challenging thing for people. And definitely for those that are talented and interested in many different things. It is very easy to find ourselves running around first to this art form, then to this project, and then to this new topic of interest, until before you know it we have a million little dalliances at our feet but nothing fully completed or accomplished that we can hold onto it, look at, and declare ours. This, to me, is vitally important for ourselves. We must stay focused. We must complete our projects. Nothing that is great was left incomplete. Greatness finds fulfillment. We must complete our projects, and hold fast to manifesting our dreams here and now. This is truly a worthy venture for all of us. To focus our efforts and talents on that which fascinates us, that which we love. And the things we love aren’t always easy. They don’t always just fall from the sky like babies hanging from the mouths of storks. Sometimes that does happen of course, but mostly it is work. Yes the gods do look down upon us and guide us on our path, but we are still expected to achieve Herculean feats.

After a week of resistance with my own novel, I did receive divine inspiration in the early morning. A light flashed and a path was revealed. I finally understood what was going on, and what to do next. I have at least an angle, an idea, a focus. In a way I must admit that taking a step back helped me to find that clarity. If I had pushed on I probably wouldn’t have the purpose and direction I see now. I would have likely waffled around. I would have probably had to go back and rewrite it. Who knows? But taking that step back did help me in the larger scheme of things. Even still I consider this an exception to the rule. I can’t build my novels like this regularly. Inspiration is partly an act of faith not just a divine guidance. When all else fails, and I am rendered helpless, lost, and confused then I pray, think it over, worry about it, and then at least in this instance a revelation came to me. I can only hope that next time, I can say the same. In the meantime I’ll keep writing.

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