Forgetfulness, dumbness, necessity!
In chains of the mind locked up,
Like fetters of ice shrinking together,
Disorganiz’d, rent from Eternity.
William Blake, from “The Book of Urizen”
We all set goals and have aspirations. I myself have written numerous posts regarding writing and how to write every day – you can find those posts here, here, and here. And surely our goals and aspirations, our human ambitions, are good and healthy and carry us along to a better life, a life only yet imagined for ourselves. I see the same in business as well. The aspect of financial budgeting, annual projections, a 5 year plan and exit strategy. These are all vital processes to human development and growth. They help us stay true to our course and keep us focused and committed to our larger intentions, motivations, and desires. And yet these very same measurements and metrics designed to guide us along towards our success can actually also be our very own excuses or perpetrators of failure. As soon as we set a goal for ourselves, we inadvertently also set up the possibility for failure. How many times have you committed to writing a story and just couldn’t finish it? How many times have you come up with a business idea and didn’t follow through on it? How many New Years Resolutions have you abandoned only weeks or maybe months later? It is these perceived failures, our inability to stay committed, and to follow through with our good word and vision, that can become some of the greatest obstacles for us to overcome, get back on track, and re-commit ourselves. Too many times we just don’t finish what we start upon. We create reasons and excuses or we have a certain, peculiar view of the whole situation that we can more easily convince ourselves away from what we actually want, what we originally set out to do, what really makes us thrive.
In his essay called Compensation, Ralph Waldo Emerson speaks of a fascinating phenomenon wherein all things compensate or limit or balance out one another. Nothing is left disconnected in the universe of space and time. All things have their counter-weight. Throughout the essay he provides various examples and ways this law of compensation operates. In this quote below he is speaking of how our weaknesses, our failures, relate to our strength and wisdom. He states the following:
Our strength grows out of our weakness. The indignation which arms itself with secret forces does not awaken until we are pricked and stung and sorely assailed. A great man is always willing to be little. Whilst he sits on the cushion of advantages, he goes to sleep. When he is pushed, tormented, defeated, he has a chance to learn something; he has been put on his wits, on his manhood; he has gained facts; learns his ignorance; is cured of the insanity of conceit; has got moderation and real skill. The wise man throws himself on the side of his assailants.
Here Emerson is comparing the two sides of adversity. It is through facing that which challenges us that we do in fact grow and become stronger. Suffering is compensated by wisdom while privilege is compensated by weakness. Nothing is relinquished in life. Everything is connected and presents us with an opportunity for either growth or decay. If I wish to be wealthy, then I must turn about and face my poverty. If I wish to write, then the laws of the universe shall guide me to all that stops me from my writing. As soon as we each proclaim a resolution, a goal, a desire, the universe immediately conspires, often mysteriously, to test our resolve. And it is within that adversity and confrontation that we are privileged with the opportunity to evolve, to transform, to remove that which we no longer wish for, and thereby replace it with that which we now intend.
Life is suffering. And yet as Emerson states elsewhere in the same essay, “Benefit is the end of nature.” We must earn our blessings. The Grace of God is buried deep within the iron resolve of man. The more fervent the prayer, the more likely it shall manifest. And so what do we do when we naturally fail? How do we face our inequities and our shortcomings along the path to the heights of our aspirations? Of course we all know the right answer, but often it is only when we are conjecturing from afar. The real question is what do we actually do when our failures or inabilities are heaved upon us? It is in that crucible my friends where all the treasures lie and all the glory awaits us.
I attended carpentry school for a few semesters at a local trade school some years ago. It was really fun, and I learned a lot both about carpentry but also about life in general and how to “measure things up” in this world if you will. One day there was a young woman who was working on the large table saw. The table saw is a big table with a circular saw blade sticking up out of it. It is designed, among other things, to make long cuts into large pieces of lumber. One of the major risks when operating a table saw is kickback. If you lose control of the wood you are cutting, the newly cut piece of wood can “kickback” very powerfully and very fast from the spinning blade and cause the piece of wood to fly across the room, hit you or someone else, and cause serious damage. Well this woman that was operating the table saw had a piece of wood she was cutting kickback on her, and quite understandably she was very upset, scared, and rattled. She had made a mistake, and thankfully she wasn’t hurt at all, but she immediately walked away from the table saw and left the shop floor. The teacher, an amazing man all around bless his soul, went after her and demanded that she get right back on that machine and do it right, and he would be right there with her to help her all along the way. She was at first reluctant, but he was very adamant about this and thankfully convinced her. While he was speaking with her, he called us all over to discuss the situation as a learning experience for everyone, and it was during that time in which he said something that immediately struck me as a profound truth. He was explaining to her that the longer she waited before getting back on that machine the more fearful she would become, and it would only be more and more difficult for her as time passed to be able to approach the table saw and use it properly. But if she got right back on that proverbial horse right now, together with him, she would be able to overcome her fear, learn how to operate this machine properly, and in turn be that much more free.
The same is true with all of our failures. Whether it be from writing every day or exercising or honestly anything we are learning or trying to accomplish in life. It’s that age-old cliche about getting back on the horse again no matter how many times you fall off. Yes it’s a cliche, but it’s also quite true! We are human, and so naturally we are imbued with flaws and imperfections. We will fail. We will make mistakes. We will falter. In fact as the quote above from Emerson highlights, it is precisely in those weaknesses of ours that we do in fact find our strengths. It is only where we are chained and limited that we can liberate ourselves and grow. It is only in the areas where we contract, that we have the opportunity to expand. This is a profound truth and realization that ushers us into a higher state of being and exponentially increases our odds for success and a greater life.
A more personal note, I do have a confession to make – sometimes I don’t write everyday. Gasp! The horror! I know. I know. And sometimes I don’t know what I’m going to say next or where my story is going. Oh no! But guess what….I have to get back on that horse as soon as possible. And to be honest, time and time again proves to me that the sooner I get back to writing every day the better. As soon as I do get back on that horse, more often than not guess what happens – inspiration, creativity, a great surprise. Something new emerges in my story, a character does something I would never have expected, a flash of genius shoots through me, I begin hearing some lines that I need to write down, and off I’m running again. But truth be told these great surprises don’t often come while I’m sitting around avoiding writing. No! The great gifts only really come once I am actually writing. It is at that moment of contact, that convergence where my better natures are victorious that a light shines down and something unexpected occurs. This is a phenomenon that greatly intrigues me, because I sense there is a deeper realization underneath this entire process.
In the spirit of quoting cliches, have you heard the one, “It’s always darkest just before dawn”? Well I think this cliche is also quite true, though as an avid backpacker who has seen many a starry night, I’m not really sure if this cliche is actually literally true, but nevertheless I do think the message of the adage is what’s important here. Oftentimes when I consider myself and my own writing process as well as when I share with others and hear about their process, I continually find that what lies on the other side of these dry spells and writers blocks and empty periods where creativity and industry are long forgotten memories, I find that just on the other side of these voids lies an immense well-spring of ideas, inspiration, power, and energy. It seems that more often than not the reason we are not finding our inspiration or what to create or do next or we even have full-on resistance to continuing with our dreams at all is actually because whatever is approaching, whatever is next in line for us, is just so powerful and amazing that some part of ourselves is unable to grasp, accept, or even comprehend it. We are in a sense of the word dumb-struck in fear or awe of whatever lies within our subconscious and is now only beginning to rise up to the surface of our awareness. Some small, contracted, chained part of ourselves knows that greatness is fast approaching, and it is cowering away, recoiling, and doing everything in its power to obstruct the wave of success and power and awesomeness that desperately wants to crash down upon us and eddy all through our lives. It is vital that we understand this dynamic force and find creative and effective ways to overcome whatever chains we have placed upon ourselves that we may rise anew into the full stature of all our greatness.
Life is alive. I know that may sound obvious or repetitive, but again it is true. Life is ever-moving and completely dynamic, agile, and fresh. Vitality and creativity are rife through life. And as such when we start down the path of a project that we care about, whatever it may be whether it is writing a novel, opening a business, or setting up some diet plan, a greater life lies on the other side of that unknown. Something lives beyond our dreams, and we are forever pursuing that, seeking it with great fervor, and yet as it can be when climbing a mountain or doing anything that is truly challenging, our morale can wain. We can feel forlorn, stripped of all our abilities, unable to make even just one more step along that path. And yet these limitations are a sign of just how powerful we actually are, just how incredible is that mountain we climb. These are the indicators that reveal how rich the treasures and rewards are that lie awaiting us on the other side of our persistence. We must carry on with the goals and dreams we hold dear. We must, because not only do they hold in embryonic form, all that we want to manifest and obtain and experience in this world and life of ours, but they also issue forth to us the lessons and training that we all so desperately need to grow and mature and evolve into the greater embodiment and realization of who we truly are and all the good that lies yet dormant within us.